The stereotypical high school movie: Nerdy girl with glasses and her head stuck in a book gets a makeover and by the end of the movie is amazingly with the most popular boy in school and they are crowned prom king/queen.
That girl is me!
Quick summary of the rest of this post: I used to be an ultra-shy, nerdy, brainy girl who couldn't get a date or friends. Within the past year, I have "come out of my shell" through online dating. I am now making lots of friends and am dating the adult equivalent of the popular guys. I have had more fun in the past year than in my whole life! My life truly seems like a dream. If it is, I just hope I never wake up from it. Trust me, I am not bragging. I am just in awe of my new life. I really DO feel like the nerdy girl crowned prom queen! It is so exciting!
All my life, up until the past year, I have been intensely shy. If you were to meet me then, I think you would agree I was the shyest person you have ever met in your life. I have always detested being shy and felt like life was passing me by because of it. Unless you have been shy, you really cannot imagine how horrible and limiting it is.
How I Changed
When I split with my husband last year, I began online dating. Meeting someone online really takes away the most stressful parts of meeting someone new. If somone contacts you through a dating site, you know without guessing that they are interested in you. I have gone on many dates so far and with each date, I gain more and more confidence. Even the guys I decide are probably not a good match for me have become my good friends. I have also become friends with their friends (men and women).
It has been said that social anxiety (ie shyness) is the most overlooked mental disorder. I totally agree. People can be so ignorant about it. Of course I have not gone from being shy to being outgoing in a matter of months. I am still shy, but I am learning to cope with it better and not let it interfere with my life.
12 comments:
I went through a period in my life of being very shy, pretty much all of my teenage years which really surprised a lot of people because as a young boy I was very social.
It wasn't until my third year of university that I became more social again, but my true awakening was about 11 years ago when I discovered dancing (ballroom, jive, and then competitive Ceroc) that I finally developed into the person I am now. I wouldn't trade who I am now for any magic elixir that would restore youth.
Yeah, shyness or lack of self confidence really suck!
I've never been sprayed with mace if I was asking a girl out when I was sober.
But you know, drinking helps with inhibitions - I think that might be the problem.
Too bad they don't sell steal balls over the mail.
But, you're a pretty woman with an intelligent head on your shoulders - just be careful in the online dating world.
Carl,
I'm glad you were able to come out of your shell as well. I am also finding that belly dancing is helping. I am going to perform in front of about 100 people in 3 weeks. At first I had made up my mind not to participate in the performance because of nervousness, but I am making myself do it so I can prove to myself I can do it.
Psycho,
Ah yes, there is a fine line between liquid courage and a restraining order, ha ha.
Congratulations on your new life... keep enjoying it and I am sure you will soon find the Mr. Right... all the best... take some time to look at my blog
I like it, it's good. Over here in the UK,online dating has never really taken off and it's nowhere near as popular as it is where you are. Glad to hear that you came out the other side of the tunnel. I was married for 13 years, have 2 daughters and had one hell of a ride when it all fell apart. Fine now. Guess you are either a survivor or a victim. Keep up the writing!
I am not shy, I just hate social gatherings. Whenever there is a formal affair, I always look for alibis not to attend it.
I know this is not good, but can't shake it off.
I'm glad you finally overcome your shyness.
shyness as an illness.. I think it sounds like a way of protecting yourself until you were ready for the step you are on now. Maybe it is a sickness, I really don't know. I definitely believe you have suffered with this. Reading about your new life is fantastic. I have to keep reading. :-)
Hi Robin! I have a friend of mine who went wild dating like 10 girls at a time. He said he didn't sleep with any of them, but caught herpes from kissing one of them - he doesn't know which one because she wasn't having an outbreak. He got horrible blisters all over his lips an it spread all down his back. Wow...talk about bd luck. What happened to him has caused me to be really careful!!!!
Bobby,
Thanks for the comment...It makes me think I might want to rethink this post. I fear it is making me come across in a way that is not what I intended and certainly not who I am. Food for thought...
Take care
Robin! I'm sorry, I am the one who should have left a different comment! It's just that I saw my friend yesterday and it was on my mind. I don't think your post made you come off in a bad way at all. The truth is, I am fairly shy too, but have had many bad relationships. It's good to meet people and date because you can't find Mr. Right if you don't try. I hope to find the right woman too! It's so difficult, but I cannot give up:)
Bobby,
Whew! I feel a little better. I really like having you visit my blog. It does make me the teensiest bit nervous when I see you have visited because I am such an amateur, and I really admire you and your blog:)
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